2 Cor 4:8

2 Cor 4: 8 'We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair..'

Pastor preached on the message to Man today,and it's was very good message for me.Something that really bring me and make me realize of some of the things i've done in the past...and now,it's really time for me to get things right,and rise up for the Lord.

Looking back,i think there are a lot of things which i need to work on in my life.My peers all have rise up,except me,and i felt that why it's so unfair to me,why God promote the rest and not me?Recently,I fasted a lot,and really think through a lot,and it's a very very hard period for me,and God really mould me during this period,and i really felt much tougher time than i used to previously.I felt like giving up,and that's it.. i'm not going to back to church,i just want to be alone,i wanna be myself,someone that always free from all the pressing by leaders,and by members.I want to be left alone... and even if ppl start to show concern abt me,they are just concern about me backsliding... the thoughts of all these,really crushed me down at times.. but yet,everytime,God is the one that lift me up again and again,from time to time..

'Hati Hamba',a song that i love to sing so much recently.. really inspire me and encourage me.I played the song for cell group on friday,and having fast and pray for the past one week,i really felt the anointing in me to lift up the spirit of this song.Indeed,God did a wonderful work through me,and many of my members were very touched by the worship,and it was one of the most awesome worship we had.God's presence was so tangible,and the members were blessed by the worship,and as a guitarist,i'm very much encouraged too.

Pastor Tan preached a very good message.Indeed,at times i do feel very much squeezed by the leaders,either ministry,or cell group leader... being in between the members,it's kinda of hard for me.Ministry,is where i felt very much called to,and i really wanting to rise up there,yet there are so many things which i felt so much squeeze by the leaders.Cell group,being the main coordinator,have to stuck in between the connect group leaders,and the cell group leader,and sometimes,even members... I felt like so angry,pek cek at times.. but yet,what can i do,but to swallow my pride,and eat it? Who can really understand the pressure i'm going through,seems i don't do a lot,but i felt i also need personal time.I'm a human being too,and can get tired too.

Yet the word of season come to me...

2 Cor 4:8 'We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair'

God is indeed there for me.. i'm not crushed,as the word says.. i will be even more stronger(which i'm trying to...)

Greater is He who is in ME,than He who is in the world. God is good. Amen!